First dates conjour up a lot of mixed feelings. Hopefully excitement is the main one, though it’s bound to bring anticipation, butterflies and nerves in tow. Knowing what to expect from a first date is also a little tricky. Not having those expectations met is worse. When I think about what girls might want from a boy on a first date, a few things spring to mind. I’ve decided to share these with you…
– Offer to pick her up.
– Open doors for her.
*Every girl wants a guy who can be a gentleman and these two simple things will earn you automatic brownie points and put you in her good books before the date has even begun. Not a bad way to start I’d say.
– Find something to compliment about her appearance when you first see her (more brownie points. It’s even better if you’re sincere).
– Offer to pay (at which point she should protest once, then kindly thank you),
– Ask questions about her and actually listen when she answers.
– Look her in the eyes as you talk.
– Go somewhere out in public. Taking her to the cinemas to watch a movie = good. Asking her to come to your place and watch a movie = a little creepy.
– Work in some physical contact; touch/hold her hand, brush her hair aside etc.
– Don’t text/call/contact her too much before the date. You don’t want her to be sick of you before she even sees you or use up all your talking points. Being too avaliable is a complete turn off. I haven’t yet found a girl who doesn’t agree with me on this, so keep it in mind at all times.
– Walk her to her front door if (when) you drop her home.
Then, of course, there are the topics that should be avoided. These include;
– Committment/trust issues
– Jokes about luring children into your van
– Weird bedroom antics you may have
– How much you earn (you’ll either sound cocky or end up with a girl who’s only interested in your money. If that’s all you have to offer then I guess you can bring it up but I’m sure there’s more to you than that – she has already agreed to be there with you, remember?)
– Too much detail about your sport/training/car unless she’s into it too (if she’s not, trust me, she doesn’t care and has probably tuned out)
– Things that make you sound gay (you shave your legs/arms, get manicures, spooned with your best mate in bed the other night… you get the idea)
The goodbye kiss. This is a big one, so it deserves it’s own paragraph. It is highly dependent on the rest of the evening. If you haven’t been picking up much of a good vibe, it’s probably best to hold off and avoid an awkward rejection. No one wants to be rejected when their lips and ego are on the line. I also don’t mind a delay on the first kiss if you both know you’ll be seeing each other again. Generally though, my advice would be to go for it. She should give you some sort of hint throughout the date that she’s keen. Has she been laughing at all your stupid jokes? Smiling the whole time? Didn’t pull away when you reached for her hand? All good signs. She might even be clever enough to tell you she had a ‘really good time’ – a sure sign. When I say go for it, I mean just do it. If you can bring it up or ask in a cute way, be my guest. However, be aware that talking about it has the possibility of making it awkward or killing the moment. And moments are much like people, it can be hard to revive them once they’re dead.
DON’T USE TONGUE ON A FIRST KISS! This is so important that it had to be in bold and caps, two things that, having studied journalism, I would never otherwise apply to one sentence. I honestly can’t stress this enough. There will be time for that later. That time might come two seconds later with the second or third kiss, I don’t know. All I know is nothing good comes from coming on too strong and ruining what could have been a good thing. You’ve come this far, don’t ruin it now.
Of course, if the girl likes you, she won’t mind if you missed a few of these things. She might even listen and ask you questions if you bring up your sport/training/car or laugh at your innapropriate jokes. If she is doing those things, you know you’ve done something right.