Im/mature

I found myself at the park the other night, swinging on the swings with so much joy I wondered why this was something we stopped doing as adults. I missed the feeling that if you were to just swing a little bit higher, you could reach the sky. It generally goes that as we grow up, we are meant to grow out of childish things. We put away the toys and join the ‘grown up world’. Colouring-in books are replaced with text books and playing kiss-chasey is replaced with kiss-and-I-wonder-how-long-it-will-take-him-to-call-me.

Women in their mid twenties are often looking for men in their late twenties or early thirties, who will be ‘more mature’. Immature is seen as a bad thing. How can you have a serious relationship with someone who is too immature? This is a fair question. Constantly playing ‘parent’ to an immature partner isn’t a solid structure for any real relationship, it’s fraught with frustration and resentment. But at the same time you have to ask yourself, how can you have a fun relationship with someone who is too mature?

I’m currently in a relationship with a boy who is completely immature. I love it. Sometimes you need someone who will help take away the seriousness of day to day adulthood by being silly with you, making ‘vrrmm’ noises when you’re in the car and getting just as excited when you hear the Mr Whippy siren on a hot summers day. Yes, there needs to be a degree of maturity in order for a relationship to grow, to be equals, and to have a partner you can depend on if things get rough. But if you can’t also let your guard down and act like a kid again with them, then where’s the fun in that?

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