The Good Break-up

I need to start this by saying that I’ve never had a particularly bad break-up. I’ve had break-ups at bad times – the middle of the night on Valentine’s Day – but the break-ups themselves have all been civil. However, my most recent was a really good break-up.

Good in the sense that it was for a good reason, with good intentions, at a good time and involving a good discussion. Girls have a bad habit of walking away from a situation and relaying to their girlfriends all the things they wish they’d done. “I wish I could have told him this” “I wish I didn’t let that slip by” “I wish I hadn’t acted that way”. We tell our girlfriends everything we’re thinking, but sometimes only say half of it to our partner. My break up went against that. I told him everything I was thinking, even if I knew it didn’t make sense, even if it was contradictory. I told him I loved him but was annoyed at him, that I understood but it made no sense, I made jokes about it while I cried, I cried because of the very person who was comforting me. I was honest with him. And I asked him so many questions to make sure he was honest with not only me, but more importantly with himself.

And at the end of it all, I realised that this was a really good break up. A good decision. It was one I would never have been able to make myself, but it meant that I can stay friends with him for so much longer. I get to keep this boy in my life. That in itself is what made me realise that breaking up is completely fine. I’ve always understood, but I know now more than ever, why he has been able to stay bestfriends with his previous girlfriend. He makes it such an easy transition, it seems like the most natural thing in the world. It’s everyone else that seems crazy when they tell me you shouldn’t stay friends with an ex because for me, with him, there’s no other option. It’s not a choice. That’s just the way it’s going to be.

This blog is really more for me, or him, than any of you. It’s not written to the best of my capabilities, it’s not witty, it’s not relevant for anyone except me. I just needed to get it down in writing. I needed to express how grateful I am for my good break-ups and how much I’m looking forward to being friends with my ex boyfriend.

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