Let’s Talk About Sex

It’s one of those subjects everyone has an opinion on. And if you get a group of girls together, they love to talk about it. How long should you wait before sleeping with someone for the first time? How many partners is too many? Can you have sex with no strings attached?

Sex should be meaningful, it’s the closest you can be to another person and it should be saved for people you truly feel a close connection with. You should wait a certain amount of time, and only when you are in a relationship, to make sure someone is right for you and to ensure you won’t regret your actions. Do you really want to hit double digits and find half of it was wasted on people who didn’t deserve to crack a mention on your ‘to do’ list to begin with?

Sex is just sex, it should be fun. If it’s there and if you want it, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known the person, you should go for it. You may never get the chance again. You need to take it for what it is – a physical act between two people. Don’t place too high an emphasis on sex. You are free to do it as much as you like, however you like, with whoever you like. Plus, it helps burn fat and is a great source of cardio, so if you’re not one for hitting the gym (unless it’s to hit on the people there) sex is a great way to keep fit, too.

The truth is, I have friends who view sex in both of these completely polar ways. Some scoff at one night stands in disgust. Some revel in the idea of great sex, no matter who it’s with. Both views are right. The thing with sex is, it’s a topic where yours is the only opinion that matters. Sure, you can ask for advice from your friends but the odds are that they will come back to you with an array of responses anyway, each telling you different things, and thus confusing you even more.

You can’t live your life by other people’s morals. What’s right for your bestfriend isn’t the same as what’s right for you. You need to make your own decisions when it comes to this. Think about what you’re happy with, what you want, what you might regret more the next day – doing it, or missing out.

There are no cut and dry answers to these questions. In the end, it’s just a matter of doing what feels right for you, what you’re comfortable with. Don’t rush into things if you’re not ready. Saying no is, and always will be, completely fine and 100% up to you. Don’t hold back if it’s something you want to do, either. Sex isn’t something that’s meant to be hard (insert obvious pun here) – it should be a decision based on what your gut is telling you. Believe it or not, guts are actually quite smart things to listen to, despite not being able to talk.

Most importantly, don’t worry about what people will think. Society has told us to go after what we want, that we have the freedom to make our own decisions. Don’t be afraid that the decisions you make might be critised by society later – it’s just being a hypocritical bastard if that’s the case. And your friends, the people whose opinions actually do matter to you? Well, if they are real friends, they will be happy you did what you wanted. The truth is, yours is the only opinion that matters anyway. Make sure that’s the one you base your decisions on. All your decisions.

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2 comments

  1. Words of wisdom, and very nicely written!

    I agree with you 100%….sex can be special and intimate, perhaps waiting until after you’re married or in a long term relationship, or sex can be fun, casual, and carefree. It can be a combination of these two ideas, or it can be based on an entirely different set of morals and values!

    As long as the people involved are consenting adults, each to their own!

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