What To Look For In A Friend’s New Partner

It’s always interesting when your friend starts dating someone new. You want the relationship to be good for your friend but also good for you. We are selfish creatures so there are many ways in which we worry about how a friend’s new fling will impact us. Will we like them? Will they like us? Can we hang out altogether? Do they understand that Sunday brunch is reserved for sacred gossip sessions and cannot be impeached upon? Will they treat your friend right or will you have to step in and get all Liam Neeson on their ass?

I believe most of us ask two questions when our friends start dating someone;

  1. Do they remember it’s important to balance friend/partner time and make an effort to get that balance right? When couples can’t get this right, they fall victim to the ‘new relationship black hole’ and vanish off the face of the earth, leaving you friendless. In fact, the only way you know these people are still alive is through their ever sickening Facebook updates which have become a plethora of eye-rolling, gag worthy love notes to their new ‘bae’.
  2. Is their new partner a decent human being? They don’t have to be the type of person you’d want to date, or even the type of person you had in mind for your friend. They simply need to not be a shit person. If you’re able to make small talk at group gatherings and hang out with the couple without wanting to kill yourself, consider yourself lucky.

Sometimes, on rare occasion, your friend will start dating someone who exceeds expectations. I mean, they blow all other contenders out the water. If you’ve experienced this you’ll know that there’s almost nothing better; it fills you with joy and reaffirms your belief in love. Her partner knows friendships are important and encourages her to maintain them. He treats her right; he’s taken the time to get know her and likes her for who she is, he wants only the best for her. You are comfortable leaving her happiness in his hands. You get along with him; so much so that you actually consider him a friend, not just your friend’s partner. You can hang out with him when she’s not around and there are no awkward lulls in conversation. The two of you share a unique connection in that you’re both invested in your friend’s happiness. If she’s happy, you’re happy. And there’s nothing easier than being happy about your friend’s new relationship when you can see how good it is for her.


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