My parents recently celebrated their 30 year wedding anniversary. While divorce rates may be dropping, 30 years is still pretty impressive. The thing that makes my parents’ anniversary even more impressive is that not only have they gotten through 30 years of marriage, they’ve done it with a whole lotta love and happiness.
Their relationship is one that makes me believe that ‘till death do us part’ does exist. Their relationship has also taught me a thing or two about what it takes to make a marriage work, because as much as you might love someone, there’s a lot more to it than that.
So, here’s what I’ve learnt from my parent’s shining example of 30 years together;
- Marry someone who amazes you
My dad genuinely believes that my mum is the smartest women he’s ever met. If you asked him, he would gloat about her intelligence in a heart-warming way that only someone who is truly amazed by their partner could gloat. Whether it’s their intelligence, humour, skills, kind-heartedness, or something else entirely, being amazed by your partner seems to make you a lot happier to be around them, day in, day out, for the rest of your lives.
- You need to plan time together
After 30 years, 3 kids and both of them working, my parents prove it’s not only important but very possible to still make time for each other. They exercise together every week, go for beach walks, have movie nights, head out dinner or even out dancing and I believe that making time just for each other has been an important part of their long lasting marriage.
- You need to plan time apart
On the other hand, they also plan separate holidays – my mum goes on girls’ weekend getaways, my dad goes on boys’ golf trips and they each have their own, separate hobbies. This has also taught me that keeping your own identity and giving your partner space means you’re likely to be even happier to see one another when you come back together.
- Sometimes love means agreeing to do it their way
During any relationship there will be times you disagree with your partner’s way of doing things. Sometimes these are big things (raising children) and sometimes they are little things (how to cook chicken). If you know your partner really cares about how to cook chicken and you only kind of care, bow down and tell them you think their way is a good idea. From what I’ve seen, it makes everyone’s lives easier.
- It’s all about offering to make a cup of coffee
Big romantic gestures are nice, but my parents prove that it’s the small gestures that really count. Every morning my mum offers to make my dad a cup of coffee and every night he offers to make her a cup of tea. These ridiculously simple gestures show you are thinking about the other person and offering to do something that will make their lives that little bit sweeter.
Finally, I’d just like to give a big shout out to my parents, for they are the reason I continue to believe in love.