long distance

The Good in Goodbye

Today I’m driving my bestfriend to the airport and out of my everyday life. I can’t begin to imagine how I’m meant to get through life without her. She has been one of the very few constant things keeping me sane & incredibly happy over the last 10 years. To wake up tomorrow knowing her beautiful face isn’t just around the corner is going to be a harsh reality. I’ve never particularly felt like I’ve had my heart broken, but at the moment I feel like I’ve lost part of it. Of course she will always be there, a phone call away, as that is what true friendship is. But it still feels like I’m losing a limb. The great thing about a true bestfriend, someone you love unconditionally, is that their happiness is often key to your happiness. With that in mind, I couldn’t be happier that she is moving away to look after herself and put her happiness first. I hope more than anything in the entire world that she finds it. Because if her world is happy, my world is happy. And then our worlds are one step closer together. Distance is nothing in the face of true love. And while I don’t believe in soulmates, if I had to choose one, I’d choose her.

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You Had Me At Goodbye

There are some people you meet in life who are different from the rest, they are special, worth holding on to. We pluck them out of the 7 billion other people on the planet and call them friends. Some are better than others, some are the best. If you are true friends, then one of the most important things to you becomes their happiness.

That’s not to say it won’t absolutely suck if their happiness involves moving away from you.

I’ve recently had a friend move to the other side of the country. Another one, who has been the best friend for over 10 years, is mere months from moving to the other side of the world. I am incredibly proud and happy for them to be taking control of their lives, not worrying what anyone else thinks but doing exactly what they want and putting their happiness first. That said, I’d also like to take a moment to be selfish because, for me, it also absolutely sucks. I am losing two of the best girls I know from my everyday life. While it’s easier than ever to keep in touch across countries these days, there is only so far a message, skype or phone call can go before you realise that nothing can replace a real life hug, chats over dinner or girls night antics.

There are some people you meet in life who you know are going to stay in it, regardless of distance or timezone. They say real friendships aren’t about seeing each other every day, but not seeing each other and nothing changes. I am going to miss these girls so much it’s going to hurt. When I stop and think about it, I’m not sure how I’m going to live without them. But I know, no matter where we are, they will always mean just as much to me, we will always have this friendship and their happiness will always be one of the most important things to me. I love them both, and love knows no boundaries.

winnie the pooh

Relationship Holidays

I have received a myriad of responses when telling people my boyfriend is going to Europe for a 2 month holiday. A classic came from my father the other night;
Me: He’s going on a contiki around Europe.
Dad: *Smirks* Good luck with that, honey.

Luck? Do I really need luck? Granted, my father’s understanding of what constitutes a contiki tour comes from the 1960/70s when the world was preaching ‘free love’, however this isn’t the only response I’ve had along these lines.

The most common follow up question is, “Are you ok with that?” followed by “Aren’t you worried about what he could get up to?” I’ve even been asked “Aren’t you mad at him?” That last one particularly threw me off.  However, all of them seem absurd to me.

The idea of a partner planning to leave without you to holiday for several months can be upsetting and even frustrating if you have been together several years, as you’ll wonder why they didn’t want to go away with you. I, however, am not in that situation. I haven’t even hit the one year mark in my relationship and it is in this type of situation that I call these questions ‘absurd’.

I do believe that this is where the last question ties in though, as being mad could relate to not being invited, followed by insecurity and wondering ‘why?’. I have no such concerns. After less than a year together, I would not advise spending 24 hours a day together for 2 months straight in multiple countries that don’t speak your language. You’re just asking for opportunities to fight and destroy the relationship. You’re also rushing into things a little too fast. Any relationship will be tested when you’re with the same person for that long. You wouldn’t go into an exam without spending a lot of time beforehand getting to know as much as you can about to the topic, would you? Likewise, don’t go into the extended holiday test underprepared.

In regards to the first two questions, my response would be as follows;

“Are you ok with that?”
Naturally, I am going to miss him, but of course I am ok with his leaving. Those who have been to Europe will tell you this isn’t an opportunity to be missed. More than ‘ok’ with it, I am excited for him.

“Aren’t you worried about what he could get up to?”
No. It’s as simple as that. Why? Because I TRUST him. A major player in a relationship, trust is something that should cross continents. Trust isn’t real if it is subject to location, to situation, to how easily you can get in contact. I trust him here. And if I can trust him when he’s staying at his ex-girlfriend’s house while visiting her in Melbourne (we might discuss that one later), then I can trust him when he goes to explore the world. I trust him to stay the great person he is, I trust him to do the right thing by me, and I trust him to tell me if anything changes while he’s away.

I understand that some people would be worried. But, if you love someone, and if they love you, shouldn’t you be secure in your relationship, no matter where you are?